Self created prison.

It's past midnight and I am blinded by the sight,

I try to close my eyes,but the memories are just too bright.

I wish I could free my head ,of thoughts that just won't let me sleep..

If I could just let it all go and take one giant leap..

If  mommy could just kiss me goodnight

and whisper to me, darling, it's going to be alright!

If someone could wipe my tears away,

and sing to me how tomorrow would be a better day..

It's very cold tonight and it's lonely out here as well,

and even music can't save me, from the throes of my self created hell..

How lonely can one get???? Even my thoughts aren't mine!!!!

Can't fight the tears yet but, there's a smile saying I am doing fine.

Now I know silence can be so deafening ,

and how hollow it makes you inside when you alone are the one listening.

Now I know how nothing lasts forever,

people do change, even  when they promised they won't ever...

How inevitable a change is and the fear it brings,

and merely by words I can't explain, how deeply it stings.

How feelings go away, how memories fade away,

and how the people once part of you, leave and let you decay.

How something inside of you just almost died,

when your share of air,you were denied,

how big a void it left in you 

and how the world once bright , now turned so blue..

The night is coming to an end and it will be morning in a while,

I'd rather wipe my tears away for it's almost time to wear a smile.

I will be greeting the day like any other day, 

would even sing out loud like nothing can get in my way,

But when the day  will be done, and I will be all alone ,

my thoughts would still lead me to you and my heart would still moan..